i know it sounds fun being a vampire and all. but its not all
its crack up to be. i have been a vampire for some time now and its just getting old. its hard meeting new people becoming there friend and then killing them. and the image of it all, "vampire's are so sexy" its not like we can go around seducing hot girls and turning them into vampires. we live forever! can you imagine hooking up with a girl in a bar, then spending all eternity with her! the last time i made that mistake, i was stuck with this chick for six centuries! finally she left me for a warlock. and warlocks buy the way, always cheat at checkers.
but anyway, you know this constant thirst for blood we share?
its so tiring and messy. and really embarrassing when you mess the vane on the first try. that happened to me last night, and i was so red in the face! and did you know that when i was human i was a vegan! can you spell irony? well i can its, l-a-m-e!
any way i am going to go to sleep, i have work tomorrow. yes thats right work, how do you think i payed for my velvet lined coffin. a guy cant just go dig those out of the ground you know......that's just disrespectful.
p.s. don't forget to leave your door unlocked in case i get thirsty..........LOL..hahahahahah............just joking ill be good till next week.
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4 comments:
Gee Dave..I had no idea the pain you were in..I guess you found the papers that said you were adopted! Sorry..your dad and I were waiting for the right time! We tried to find your family history but we couldn't find much past 400 hundred years..families should keep journals don't you agree? Anyway..a good substitute for blood is V-8 juice..try that next time instead of killing somebody! After you bit your dad and I we had to put our foot down! We were able to distract you with material things..fishing pole, dirt bike and of course your guitars! But apparently your urges are back..but your over 18 and we can't stop you.. you're on your own mister!
P.S. Your black cape came back from the cleaners.. come get it..
Very very interesting stuff Dave!
some people like being bitten softly and sucked on... human nature
I'm a biter. Enough said.
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